She was never the one to be self-centered, but rather altruistic. She had always been supportive and compassionate. Others’ happiness was what mattered most. Many would seek for consolation and she was the one everybody would turn to for guidance. Not once was she hesitant.
Ironically, her selfless acts had brought her nowhere. It saddened her to know that majority were so ungrateful. She knew she needed to put her happiness before others, but she couldn’t. As she was growing up, she was taught to be kind, forgiving, caring—despite of others’ actions.
If you are egoistic, you are looked down upon. If you are selfless, you will be taken advantage of.
Is there even a choice anymore? A solution? Perhaps there is. But the thought of disappointing others, the thought of losing those who were important to her—feared her. The thought of even walking away from those who seek for condolence and guidance, was not a choice.
I should’ve known in the beginning. I was so oblivious and ignorant. I believed every word you’d said. I grew attached and you started to become my source of happiness. How foolish of me to rely on you to make me happy. In the end, all you did was hurt me and I’d end up disappointed. I use to have so many goals in life I’d want to accomplish. My focus was to strive for success and to live up to my full potential. Now, all I want really, the only thing I want now, is just to be happy.
One day with you
I want to spend one whole day with you. Just you. One day of crazy adventures, random conversations— just getting to know each other better. Then it’d be nice to end the day cuddling, with you in my arms.
I feel as if I am better off on my own rather than being dependent on others. When you depend on others, you have many expectations for them—which consequently leads to disappointments. I constantly anticipate that there will be someone to comfort and sympathize me when I am feeling temporarily disconsolate. I tend to neglect many that say ‘they’ll be there when I’m in need.’ Mainly because the way I perceive it is that their words are just an act of kindness and most people are unreliable. I like to believe that there are many people in my life whom are trustworthy. When in reality, there is no one to confide in.
Respect me, I’ll respect you.
I don’t care who you are. If you don’t respect me, I won’t respect you. Just because you’re older than me doesn’t mean I need to show you some respect. You don’t have the right to insult me and expect me to show you some respect. I have too much self-respect to tolerate anyone disrespecting me.